2005 Dodge Viper Review

Specifications

Virtual Reality

“Hello. Oh, hi Tim. A new Viper? Today? Of course I can clear my schedule!” Putting down the phone I think to myself, How did I fall into this gig anyway?

Adding the final edits to a news story and review needed to go live on the web service tonight, I trundle downstairs, grab a snack and head out to the massive SUV Toyota has graciously left at my disposal.

Its now raining, after a hailstorm that pelted down my crocuses and daffodils earlier today, neither of which is anything near Viper weather, but 500-horsepower supercars dont come along every day so I shouldnt complain about something I have no control over.

Hmmm… but control, or should I say lack of control, is exactly the problem. The Viper isnt exactly a WRX, or better yet an EVO8 MR. Theres no all-wheel drive, the traction control is manually applied by the right foot delicately feathering the throttle, and at nearly twice the Mitsus power it can be a bit on the touchy side in the slick.

Driving down the hill I notice there may be light shining from the southwest, which gives me hope. I previously decided to meet Tim across town at his office, as its situated where there is a greater chance of dry roads than here in the mountains. The rain turns to a trickle on my southward journey, spitting onto the windshield with an annoying nonchalance that requires the need of sometimes flicking the intermittent wipers on, and then having to shut them off during the dry spells. Fortunately it completely dries out when I reach Chryslers regional office.

“Tim? Yeah, its me. Im pulling up to the office now, meet you outside in a few minutes? OK.” What to do until he gets here? Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that “24″ DVD I brought with me. Let me see, how does this DVD player work anyway? Easy.

“Hey, whatcha watching?”

“Oh, hi Tim. 24. Have you seen it?”

“I was addicted to the first couple of seasons. Great show.”

“Yeah, totally.”

As interesting as it is to see how Jack Bauer will get his wife and daughter out of the remote mountain compound their kidnappers have locked up them inside (season one), the Viper is yet more tempting, so Im out of the SUV and, oh yeah, cant forget the camera, can I?

Whew! Talk about a muscle car. It takes everything Ive got just to open up the trunk lid. OK, Ive just recovered from surgery so Im a bit on the weak side, even more than normal, but smaller folks could have trouble with this one. I can see it now… big, tough Viper-man cant open up his trunk. How embarrassing. And for such a big car the roadsters booty is pretty small, but it fits in Tims briefcase and my camera bag pretty well, and I suppose would squeeze in a couple of packed bags loaded up for a weekend getaway. Good enough.

The SRT-10s cockpit is a tight fit too. The seats side bolsters are as massive as any Ive ever seen, and as good at holding driver and passenger in place during aggressive side-to-side action. Yeah, I remember slinging a 2003 version through the mountain roads above Santa Barbara, California during the updated cars launch program. That was sweet.

“So where should we go?”

“Hmmm, not sure Tim. Maybe towards the south, but it looks like theres more sun in the west. Hard to tell.”

“Well, how about driving south and then if it doesnt look good we can veer to the west?”

“Perfect.”

With the top up its pretty quiet in here, well other than the growl coming from the exhaust and mechanical machinations emanating from under the hood. And I forgot how much better the new Viper is with regards to interior quality than the old version, and how much more accommodating it is all-round.

“This thing rides pretty well, Tim.”

“Yeah, its firm but doesnt chatter the teeth or anything.”

“I think its got a nicer ride than the new Vette.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was testing it recently and found it a bit of a handful. This seems more refined.”

“Ha, I dont think Ive ever heard anyone refer to a Viper as refined.”

“I suppose thats not a word that would define it best, or cause Viper fans to run out and buy one. But, besides being the closest thing to a race car available for the street, I find it pretty easy to live with.”

“Yeah, I could drive this every day, for sure.”

“Dont they give you one of these for a company car, Tim?”

“Ha, yeah right.”

“Oh, were coming to a bridge up here on the right, perfect for photos. You wanna be my Viper model?”

“Hold on, let me get out my sunglasses.”

Im out of the car and Tim is turning it around to drive back over the bridge for a few shots. Wow, this is perfect. There arent many of these old bridges around anymore. Wood plank roadway. Single lane. Trestle design. And an idyllic floating village for a background? This is about as good as it gets. Man Ive got to enroll in a camera course, just to figure out lighting alone. I suppose if I take enough shots, one of them is going to look decent.

The island is below sea level, totally flat and hardly populated. With the top down, cool wind blowing through the cockpit, its easy to see a panoramic view of some of the best farmland in the country, or so Ive been told. Not exactly the best place for testing out the car, as there are too many homes and barns around, and with that too much potential for kids or animals to run out onto the road. But another perfect photo op, up on top of the dyke with celestial sun streaks spreading rays down to the shimmering river through foreboding clouds, makes it a good choice.

“OK, Ive got enough shots I think. Lets get outa here and drive this thing.”

“Keys are in the car.”

“Yeah right. Its definitely my turn.”

The steering wheel feels thick and purposeful, small but perfectly suited to the job at hand. Likewise, the six-speed shifter knob sits atop a short throw lever, and clicks into first gear without hesitation. The white-backed gauges are easy to read, and I love the vertical row of ancillary dials. Cool layout.

Ive got to pull the seat way forward to get in the right driving position, but while it makes getting in and out slightly more challenging with less room between the steering wheel and the large side bolsters, its totally comfortable and ergonomically ideal.

While Tim has shown an angelic level of restraint, now that Ive got hold of the controls I find holding back nearly impossible. I just want to open it up and feel that rush of adrenaline course through my body that only something as edgy as a Viper can induce. Ah, yes. Whats that old adage about firing all of your guns at once? OK, Id better ease into the throttle and get comfortable with the car first.

Id almost forgotten how easy the new Viper is to drive. With its 525 lb-ft of torque, itll move forward in just about any gear without even pressing the throttle. Of course, it scoots along a tad quicker with a blip of the engine; understatement of the year.

OK, I cant hold out any longer. Forgive me Lord. Forgive me Tim. Ive gotta give into the overwhelming temptation and leter rip!

“Woo-haa! Yeah, thats more like it!”

“Yeah! What speed are you doing?”

“Oh, only about 70. Its just so ruddy quick getting there.”

“It never gets old, does it?”

“Never! And I didnt even get out of third gear. I cant imagine what full throttle in fourth, fifth and sixth feels like?”

And just when the possibilities begin to dance around like sugar plums on my frontal lobes, the over forty side of my brain clamps down on all the excitement and reminds me that I need my license in order to work and resultantly feed my wife and three children. Yes, Id better back off. I ease off the throttle and drop it into sixth gear.

“Look at the tach, Trevor.”

“Yeah, at a steady 70 its almost idling at 1,500 rpm.”

“Thats amazing! Can you imagine what this thing has left in it?”

“If only there was a racetrack somewhere near here. A high-backed oval or better yet, a twisting road course with a really, really long straight.”

“Nirvana!”

“We can dream, cant we?”

Of course, spending the afternoon and much of the evening in a new Viper is a dream at any speed. Taking every opportunity to hit the throttle and blast forward, slice through a curve or hammer the incredibly responsive brakes. I cant get enough of it. Its ruddy addictive.

But its also time to go home, get back to my wife and kids, not to mention let Tim get some sleep. But how long will I have for another opportunity like this? I suppose, instead of hopping down to the Dodge dealer and laying down $81,495 for an SRT-10 Ill have to settle for another night of watching 24, the boxed season-one DVD set being the closest Im going to get to anything as intense as piloting this car on a regular basis.

But I can savor these last few minutes. Who knows when Ill get the opportunity to drive a Viper again? Ive only had one since the California launch program, and then only a 15 minute stint on the Chelsea proving grounds. It was a great 15 minutes though.

“Hey, Tim. Are you guys doing another Chelsea proving grounds event this year?”

“If I told you Id have to kill you”

“Fair enough.”

It would great if they did though. I could get back behind the wheel of the hot little SRT4, if theyre still selling it by then. That thing is so much fun. And take another drive in a Crossfire SRT6… sweet. But wait a minute. What about powering down the race course in the new 425-horsepower 300C SRT8, the Magnum SRT8 or maybe even the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8, or hold on, the all-new Charger SRT8, if theyre available in time.

“Hmmm… a Charger SRT8? Now theres a four-door Viper that I might just be able to justify to Jennifer.”

“What? Oh, the Charger. Right. But the convenience of a Magnum SRT8 or Grand Cherokee SRT8 would give you a better argument.”

“Youre probably right. Neither are Vipers, but theyd probably be the closest Id ever get to owning one.”

Looking out at the road ahead the prospect of living with a 425-horsepower Magnum SRT8 seems like a pretty good idea. What color? Its gotta be black, for sure.

Oh, where was I? All of a sudden Im in front of DCs regional office and Im easing the big roadster into the parking lot and pull up beside my SUV loaner.

“Back to reality, uh Tim?”

“Ha, and a full-size SUV with leather seats and a DVD player is reality for you?”

“Hey, that was below the belt. But true… heh. Journalism may not make me rich, but youve got to admit it has its perks.”

“True.”

Driving home I cant help but reflect back on all the great times Ive had enjoying one of my favorite hobbies, and how lucky I feel to have turned yapping about cars it into a career.

Life is good.