2006 Chrysler 300 Review

Specifications

Accountants Be Damned

Im convinced there are three kinds of people who make cars: designers, engineers and accountants. The former two often champion the cause of the enthusiast, declaring that cars should be exciting to drive and breathtaking to look at, while the evil pocket-protecting hordes scrimp and save, flanking the helpless product development team on the field of battle (boardroom) with cries of increased profit and lower risk investments. All too often the calculator-wielding hordes win, and those just and courageous crusaders of automotive freedom wander back to their offices, studios and cubicles dejected, left to dream up their next assault on the companys moneymen. And eventually, somewhere, some designer or engineer snaps and says “Thats it; Im done <insert expletive here> around.”

And when that happens, we enthusiasts have a reason to weep for joy. After all, its moments like these that have brought us such ridiculously wonderful cars as the all-conquering Shelby Cobra, the sinister Buick Grand National, and even the original muscle car, the Pontiac GTO. All were excellent automobiles, and have gone down in history as the most memorable nameplates from their respective manufacturers; but now theres a new addition to that family: the Chrysler 300C SRT8.

Just as the Cobra, Grand National and GTO were all based on semi-sedate production cars, the SRT8 began life as a run-of-the-mill 300C (hardly sedate - Ed.). Already endowed with a healthy amount of V8 thrust from the now-famous 5.7L HEMI engine, the 300C is already a decently quick car, with 340 smooth, quiet horsepower and a supple, comfortable ride. In fact, the C is an excellent car that anyone should be proud to own. Its economical, very smart-looking, well-appointed, and has become quite popular (to the point that some say it, along with its LX-based Magnum stable mate, saved the Chrysler Group half of DaimlerChrysler). That is to say, its an accountants dream.

So how is it that a car that began life as an accountant-mobile becomes a shining beacon of ridiculousness? Well, first off, the 5.7L HEMI lump exits stage right, with an imposing 6.1L HEMI replacing it. Boasting 425 horsepower at 6,000 rpm and 420 foot-pounds of torque at just 4,800 rpm, the larger engine is a wholly different animal than its little brother, providing a rush of power that has no trouble motivating the 4,160 pound behemoth with ease. For those of you that still remember when cool was measured in cubic inches, the SRT8 boasts a mere 370 cubes of oversquare power, less than even the then-pedestrian 383 lump Mopar fans used to use as boat anchors. Of course, while it may not measure up to those old motors in displacement, it goes without saying that the modern go-fast gadgetry contained within the confines of the SRT8s engine bay allows the relatively small (compared to its forefathers) engine to punch above its weight.

A roller cam, sequential multi-port EFI, and high-compression (10.3:1) pistons all sound like the makings of a powerful hot rod motor, but Chrysler supplies all that and then some within the SRT8s HEMI-orange, deep skirted, cross-bolted block, and then tops it all off with a short-runner, large diameter intake manifold feeding the obligatory aluminum heads with that notorious hemispherical combustion chamber.

Backing that impressive powerplant is a transmission thats about as exciting as its name: the W5A580. A five-speed automatic with Chryslers signature AutoStick side-to-side slap-shift manual feature, its a beefy transmission borrowed from the Mercedes parts bin. Specially tuned for the SRT8s impressive torque curve, the transmissions relatively short (3.59 first, 2.19 second) gearing works in conjunction with the longer 3.06 final drive to supply violent acceleration off the line, while the 1:1 fourth and overdrive fifth gears maintain some semblance of fuel economy at highway cruising speeds. Hence, the SRT8 manages a respectable 20 mpg on the highway, but guzzles 14 mpg in the city; if you can stay off the throttle. Of course, Chrysler didnt neglect the rest of the drivetrain, and everything from the driveshaft to the differential to the axles have been upgraded to handle the heavy use and abuse theyre sure to get.

But just beefing up the drivetrain wouldnt have been enough; that powerplant in an otherwise stock 300C wouldnt have been cool; itd have been a death trap. So, the rabid engineers went to work on the suspension, tearing the stock stuff apart and extensively replacing all the weak points with high-zoot (and expensive) performance oriented stuff. Of course, they must have started off small, since any accountant worth his ledger would have had an aneurysm had he or she heard the extent to which the engineers planned to revamp the springy stuff; everything from the springs to steering knuckles were thrown out and replaced. Retuned dampers and harder bushings found their way in to firm up the ride, while larger anti-sway bars work in concert with one-inch dropped knuckles to keep the big sedan as flat as possible through the corners.

Top it all off with 14.2-inch front and 13.8-inch rear vented rotors being clamped down on by four-piston Brembo brake calipers under sweet looking 20-inch forged aluminum wheels (themselves wrapped in Goodyear F1 rubber), and Id wager the accountants never even knew what hit them.

But for all the performance enhancements, the SRT8 wears little on the outside to give its performance credentials away. Beyond a singular SRT8 badge on the trunk, a subtle spoiler on the trunk (which actually increases downforce by 39 percent without any increase in drag), and the larger slash cut exhaust tips, theres little else to give it away from the rear, while the front view is actually more similiar to a base-model 300s, with a deeper front fascia outfitted with a chin spoiler being your only two hints at what lie beneath the long hood, since the rest of the HEMI giveaways found on the standard 5.7L-powered 300C (chrome mirrors, front and rear fascia trim, and door handles) have been painted over to match the body.

Inside, things are a little more sporting, but still only just. Suede inserts embroidered with the SRT8 logo are the biggest giveaway, and do a great job of being both comfortable and supportive, while the steering wheel, shifter, and door pulls are covered in what Chrysler calls “technical” (read: perforated) leather, adding to the sporty feel. Of course, those wishing to fly under the performance radar even more need only fill the back seat with kids (preferably your own), flip up the all-new-for-06 center console mounted DVD player screen and pop in the kids favorite DVD; its your best chance at fooling local law enforcement as to your intentions when you head out on that favorite road.

So what does all this mean? After all, Ive already said this is a car designed in a fit of rage; so what does a DVD player have to do with it? Well, once youve settled into the cushy seat and turned the stubby little key, the answer comes rumbling through the 2.75 inch exhaust pipes: absolutely nothing. Theres a few crank rotations before the high compression HEMI booms to life, shaking the whole car, and the good vibrations dont end there; the loping, uneven idle vibrates noticeably, just like a proper V8-powered hotrod should. Moving away at slow speeds takes a wicked amount of self-control, and a light right foot; with so much torque available so soon, it only takes a slight dip into the throttle to put you back in your seat. Tooling around town its understandably good, with all the same traits that make the 300C such an excellent car. Its light steering, comfortable seats, friendly ergonomics and attractive layout are all very accountant-friendly. So Im not going to bother telling you any more about them; instead, Ill try and demonstrate what it is the SRT8 does best: accelerate.

Get a friend. Now arm your friend with a reasonably hard pillow. Get said friend to stand behind you, and on your cue of the issuance of a very loud “VRRROOOOOM,” get him (or her) to smack you in the back of the head as hard at they can. If you have more friends at your disposal, sit on ones back and get him (or her) to rear up at the same time. Thats what the SRT8 does. Pressing the accelerator with the transmission in first or second gear doesnt just make the car go faster, it unleashes the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse upon the unsuspecting. The entire car jumps into the air, the exhaust note goes from responsible rumble to hellacious thunder, and the thing is literally thrown down the road, bouncing your brain firmly off the back of your skull. Its violent, its sadistic, and its dangerously addictive. Cruising around at the posted 30 mile per hour speed limit in first gear put the revs smack dab on the magical 4,600 rpm mark, right where peak torque is, and mashing the throttle from that point will clear your rearview mirror, your sinuses, your passengers bladder, and quite possibly the sidewalks. Burying the pedal on the freeway is much of the same, with the only difference being the popping, cackling, nasty-sounding (in a good way) pauses while the transmission changes gears before the car rears up and pounces forward anew, like some sort of rabid beast. Honestly, the SRT8 is maniacal in its ferocity.

And that trait is what makes this an excellent performance car. Is DaimlerChrysler making a bucketload of money on each one? Probably not. Will they sell tons? Again, probably not. But in a world beset with hundreds of thousands of sadistically sterile and efficient cars that simply squat and accelerate when you hit the throttle, the 300C SRT8s shaking, jumping, and nervous mass of V8 torque is a breath of fresh air. Its not for everyone; those that enjoy actually driving past a gas station now and then may want to forgo this car, and its far from perfect. Storage cubby lids wiggle and some of the plastic surfaces arent exactly luxurious, but given the cars exceptional performance and ability to put a smile on anyones face, its $39,920 entry fee makes it among the best deals on four wheels. Its unapologetic, its unforgiving, and its definitely not for everyone. Truly, Chryslers transformation from K-car to supercar maker is almost complete.