Christmas Report: The Scent of Hummer

"Super Duty" Eau de Toilette

What do you think of when the word Hummer is mentioned? To me, a hummer is one of two things, and cologne isnt one of them. Most people unfamiliar with the words sexual connotation will immediately conjure up images of GMs extremely expensive, gas-guzzling, off-road power monger.

But in an effort to maximize brand potential the General has other aspirations in mind, one being a fashionable fragrance. Whats it going to smell like, motor oil? Not according to retailer Sephora that describes it as an "adventure" that "begins with a fresh and exhilarating burst of freshness comprised of green foliage, cardamom, thyme, and peppercorns that capture the essence of the outdoors. These lively notes are then melded with a warm, rugged, masculine, adrenaline rush of leather, patchouli,

amber, and sandalwood. The smooth richness of tonka bean [not Tonka toy] act as the "axle" that links and balances the fresh and warm notes, creating an olfactory sensation that can only be Hummer."

Do people actually buy into this kind of sensational drivel? While Hummers new scent, commissioned by and sold through GMs Hummer division, is indeed refreshing as the description attests, who would have thought the rough and tough brand long touted by superhero film star gone politic Arnold Schwarzenegger would ever go into the fragrance business?

Truth be told, automakers are finally realizing the earnings potential of creating lifestyle products featuring popular nameplates. Hummers rival Jeep, made by DaimlerChrysler, offers everything from clothing and camping gear to an all-weather portable audio system and "off-road" baby stroller.

Hummer currently offers a long list of accessories, such as lapel pins, rollerball pens, license plate frames, valve stem caps, key fobs, trailer hitch covers, buck knives, flashlights, a beach towel, a rollup blanket, camping cooler, and even an outdoor grill (the cooking kind) at its HummerStuff.com website.

But why stop there, as the brand offers electronics such as an alarm clock, a

CD player/clock radio combo, portable audio system dubbed MusiXstation, a set of two-way radios, and a Hummer branded X-player for the kids.

What about ladies apparel? No, theres no Hummer lingerie yet, despite the sales success such attire might bring the brand considering that other "thing" the mention of its name might conjure up, but rather a selection of outerwear, fleece tops, sweaters and shirts can be had, replete with Hummer branding. The same assortment is available for men, and of course ball caps are also part of the available Hummer clothing line.

A youth apparel line is also available, including an "Action" tee, kid-sized caps, an infant creeper, toddler tees, toddler windsuit, denim jacket, and a Sport-tek sweatshirt.

While BMW offers the worlds most sophisticated skateboard, Hummer makes due with a "tactical" mountain bike and available storage bag.

Also, luggage and leather goods are offered, including a travel kit by Swiss Army knife maker Victorinox, plus a CD case, a "Rendezvous" tote, "Weekender" wallet and wheeled overnighter bag.

The fragrance line, made up of a body wash at $18.00, deodorant "for men" at $14.00, 1.3 fl oz $24.00 and a 2.5 fl oz eau de toilette at $40.00, might make a humorous stocking stuffer for the man with everything, or possibly the man who wished he had everything, like a Hummer SUV for instance.

But it shouldnt be seen as just humorous, as the GM division promises that the new fragrance will be as rewarding as owning one of its Hummer branded SUVs, stating that the scent "embodies all that Hummer is".

Well, Hummer is about success and power, which might mean the SUV-maker would do better forgoing the aroma of peppercorns, cardamom, thyme, green foliage, tonka bean, leather, patchouli, amber, and sandalwood, however, and giving its scent the smell of money. Thats what Americas mega money man did when introducing the fragrance of pure, unadulterated greed now in an attractive glass bottle, the Donald Trump eau de toilette.

Of course, the Hummer scent might be ideal for the Ashton Kutchers of the world, recently seen driving his International CXT pickup truck around the streets of Los Angeles, a vehicle that makes even the top-tier Hummer H1 seem like a dinky toy at 14,500 pounds, nine feet tall and more than 21 and a half feet long.

For the time being International has not jumped on the scent of the fragrance trail, so to speak, but without doubt many others will follow. Chrysler Group may want to consider the smell of burning rubber for an "SRT" line of fragrances, or maybe Ford could capture the sweat of the common working man for a "Super Duty" eau de toilette. The possibilities are limitless.