Santa Upgrades Image with Stylinâ MINI Cooper
Cooper Photos
Although some traditionalists no doubt think Santa’s fuzzy red and white suit,lost in the ‘60s hair and hopelessly outdated ZZ-Top beard are just fine the way they are, not to mention his complete lack of attention to physical fitness and overly rosy complexion (we all know what causes that red nose), there are others who are concerned with all of the above, and the effect of such a role model on their children.
While the former group will be up in arms protesting, the latter bunch will be ecstatic that Santa has recently upgraded his image with a new sleigh. Well… it’s not exactly a new sleigh, but rather a new MINI!
That’s right. News is just in that Santa was seen flying low last night inhis Chili Red MINI Cooper, with an oh-so-fitting white roof. No doubt if the North Pole had a national flag he would’ve been able to personalize his new ride with something a little more local, and being that Santa is a global personality a Union Jack just wouldn’t do, so red and white it is.
Incidentally, Santa’s MINI features a lot of extra, over and above its cool red and white paint job. Extra goodies include heated front seats (oh so important on the North Pole) and a panorama glass sunroof that’s ideal for watching aurora borealis… a favorite pastime of the Clauses. Sixteen-inch Bridge Spoke alloy wheels are also included, giving it a racy look and allowing for the speeds necessary to circumnavigate the globe in a single night.
Thequestion everyone is thinking is why a MINI? We all know Santa has magic, but wouldn’t it have been easier to pile all the toys into a full-size SUV, minivan or pickup truck? Hardly politically correct, but definitely environmentally minded now that global warming is melting the polar ice cap, Santa is making a statement that you can still have fun while doing your part to reduce fuel consumption and the resultant toxic emissions. Yes, the big man’s MINI is extremely fuel efficient, and it also holds bags and bags of toys thanks to a larger than expected cargo area optimized by 50/50 split-folding rear seats. What matters more to Santa, however, is his new MINI Cooper goes like a HO, HO, HOrnet in heat.
“I love my MINI Cooper,” commented Santa Claus, CEO North Pole Enterprises. “It’s so quick off the line that I don’t need to use as much magic to get airborne, leaving me well rested even after a solid night’s work. Rudolf and the crew are getting old anyways, so it was time to put them out to pasture, so to speak. Besides, the MINI helps me update my image in order to excite the older children about Christmas again.”
No doubt the kids won’t be the only ones excited when they see Santa’s red MINI pull up on top of neighborhood rooftops.
Santa didn’t trade in the sleigh, by the way, but plans to auction it off at Barrett-Jackson next month to raise awareness about environmental concerns. He’ll be donating the difference between what he will get from the sleigh (he has a lot of fans that no doubt will pay dearly so the sale is expected to fetch a million plus) and what he paid for the MINI to a number of especially needy orphanages in Eastern Europe. Fortunately, the price of the MINI was so low that he’ll be able to give much more than if he’d opted for a larger vehicle.
To his critics who feel he could have saved even more money by opting for an entry-level subcompact, Santa says, “You’re getting a lump of coal. Don’t they think I deserve to have a little fun too? I come every year to bring their kids toys, and all I get are complaints. Wait till I show up next year with my John Cooper Works engine upgrade… then those self-righteous, nitpicking killjoys won’t even know what hit ‘em!”
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| 2002 MINI Cooper S | Minneapolis, MN | Price: $9,995 | |
| 2002 MINI Cooper S | Tucson, AZ | Price: $17,388 | |
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| 2002 MINI Cooper S | San Benito, TX | Price: $13,991 | |
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| 2002 MINI Cooper | Lynn, MA | Price: $10,977 | |
| 2002 MINI Cooper S | Auburn, WA | Price: $13,988 | |
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| 2002 MINI Cooper S | Hawthorne, CA | Price: $10,994 | |
| 2002 MINI Cooper S | San Antonio, TX | Price: $9,995 | |
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